Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Graphic Design Poetry

Update! This post has been updated and now lives over at BonFX.com:


http://bonfx.com/15-top-graphic-design-limericks-for-your-amusement/


A few of these are now also available at http://cafepress.com/bonfx as t-shirts and mugs. Enjoy!


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My son nabbed Edward Lear's "Complete Book of Nonsense" from the library not too long ago. It was one of my favorite books growing up. I wondered if it was possible to write limericks about Graphic Design, Adobe, user interfaces, etc. I post the results for your amusement and bemoanment:

There once was a UI Designer
Who thought a right-nav was more finer.
But users bemoaned
When they could not find "Home",
And simply restarted their browser.

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There once was a client so wiley
He asked for every source filey.
He'd edit them twice
And say "Now they're nice!"
And we'd stare at him with a blank smiley

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There once was a designer so immature
She had not yet heard of a ligature.
She'd kern "f" and "i"
And then make a sigh
While wishing for one nice clean character.

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There was an "Adobe Updater"
Who's button said "Update me later".
Whenever we'd work,
It popped up like a jerk.
And so we are "Updater" haters!

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A prominent button called "Home"
Caused UI elitists to foam.
"It should not be there!"
And they tore out their hair,
Then banged their heads on a big stone.

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In Dreamweaver there was a bug,
But Adobe was silently smug.
"Pretend it's not there!"
Said support with no care,
And swept the bug under the rug!

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There once was a graphic designer
Who could not draw a straight liner
Fresh out of school
She thought she was cool
And soon was a cook in a diner!

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There once was a trendy typsetter
Who thought "less is more is more better"
I'll sit here and scratch
at my tiny soul patch
Until my design is one letter.

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There once was a client so bozo
He thought he'd design his own logo.
He did it in raster,
And thought it was faster
Because bezier curves he did not know.

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There once was client so lame
He flipped when he saw a wireframe
"The graphics are sparse,
And your firm is a farse!"
But we knew that this man did have no brain.

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There once was a program called Freehand
It was the best tool in the whole land
But the software was sold
To Adobe the bold
And Freehand was soon no more at hand.

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A designer with senses so fickle
He felt every unaligned pixel
"It's off by a bit!
What are you a twit?"
And for lunch he ate ought but sour pickles.

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There once was a blogging designer
Who said "I will sooner retire!
I'll write blogs all day,
And sip my latte."
But soon found his finances goner.

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A slicer called Image the Ready
Who's UI was certainly heady
Some said, "It's so easy"
But many got queasy
Until Fireworks made them steady.

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A program called Photo the Shopper
Was loaded with menus and slopper
"Just raise the price
to make naughty nice"
But users soon proved this a flopper.

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Adobe the Great was a giant
To whom all it's slaves was defiant:
"While charging more price,
I'll make things less nice!"
And to this day all are compliant!

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There once was a program named Flash,
Who thought he could make lots of cash
"I'll make cool splash screens",
But this sickened his spleen.
And so Flash turned to applications.